rediscovering my normal

My routines, systems, daily habits, schedules, menu, sleep cycles, timeliness: busted. 

Spending time in the Word with my husband every day: our only constant.

I guess when you compare the two, at least the one that should be important, is. Right?

Marriage has not only enlightened me even more to my own insecurities, but completely defines and daily reaffirms the vows I made to Justin on June 9:

I promise to respect you. To honor you. To put you before my own selfish needs. 

I promise to listen to you and to listen to the Lord with you... earnestly seeking to experience the presence of our Living God. 

I promise to pray with you. Every day.

I promise to give thanks in all things.

I promise to subject and submit myself to you, in the fear of Christ, knowing this union is not about my happiness or what I will receive from you, but about our sanctification.

I promise to always stand up for you, never belittling you in front of you or behind your back.

I promise to be gentle and kind. Quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. 

I promise to daily lavish you with love, keeping your cup full so you never have to look for it elsewhere.

I promise to always bring out the KING in you, calling out and praising your gifts and strength.

I promise to love you well.

I promise to live life with open hands, not holding tightly to the things of this world.

I promise to represent our family well, as your wife, living confidently and also humbly as a woman of God.

I promise to be filled with faith, even when you are not or don't feel like it.

I promise to live willing to lay down my life for you.

I promise to die to myself daily, following and obeying Christ first, then you.

I promise to be a wife to you, and a mother to our children. In that order.

I promise to fulfill this covenant we are making today before God, one another, our family and friends.

Justin has made achieving these vows rather easy, save for "giving thanks in all things." That has been one that I've had to make a conscious effort to keep... and sometimes I say it sarcastically and yet the Spirit grabs hold of my heart moments later and I repent, go to Justin and ask forgiveness. It's been incredible, really. The "iron sharpening iron" that takes place almost moment-by-moment this past month.

So... yeah. There's a lot more to be said and that I've had rolling around in my head. But for now, this will suffice. Many lessons to be learned = many more blog entries of me admitting what a mess I am and how desperately in need of a Savior I am. :D