the way to the fullest life...

"life change comes when we receive life with thanks and ask for nothing to change." - ann voskamp

41. morning rain showers pounding
42. lunch with strangers
43. justice for the innocent
44. law enforcement officers who sacrifice daily
45. grace from erik when i'm already feeling down
46. hot shower beating on my shoulders stiff from evening rest and stresses
47. small group to walk through trials with and pray for
48. a sonicare to clean so fresh
49. dreary days good for snuggling
50. Jesus storybook
51. eucharisteo
52. keri's text about affirmative frowns
53. GFOB
54. rain boots to keep me dry and young
55. puppy dogs floppy ears our car window
56. surprised faces
57. breeze blowing through hair
58. sun shining on face
59. cozy boots with fur
60. early morning sunlight peeking through my window

eucharisteo

"He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God." Psalm 50:23

"We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks." Ann Voskamp

Oh God, may You lead me in daily Eucharisteo.

it wasn't all bad

of course not. the guys came through. jaime's friends took him out for his birthday friday night.

they decided a smaller "more intimate" outing would be more enjoyable. i agreed.

jaime's face was priceless when his friend dean knocked on friday night. "amber, look who's here!" he exclaimed as his face puckered up in puzzlement. i laughed, "oh, i know who's here." his face turned one more shade of shocked and he opened the door to a huge dean-bear-hug.

was he surprised? ten minutes later my phone chirped with a text message: "you have no idea. thank you! you are the bestest."

well, i'm definitely not the bestest, but it sure was fun to plan a guy's night for my sweetheart. he had a blast.

36. ann's book. devoured the first chapter this morning.
37. tisha's words of wisdom and validation. i'm not as crazy as i feel oft times.
38. kobe hat on the birthday boy
39. a colorful journal to archive my thanks
40. words from His heart written to His people because of His great love for us

since jaime doesn't read this...

he turns 30 on monday.

been asking since december what "special" way he'd like to celebrate his third decade.

nothing. "birthday's really aren't a big deal to me," he replied.

fine. well, i'm still your girlfriend and feel somewhat obligated and responsible for helping you celebrate your big day.

three weeks ago i approached a few of his closer guy friends at the rock gym. asked them if they could kidnap jaime for a night and take him out for some fun. "of course, we'd love to." great. perfect. all set. i have to babysit friday night, he won't be doing anything, it'll all work out.

super stoked that he will feel cared for, surprised and get to hang out with the guys.

well, jaime and three of his other friends all celebrate birthday's within a week of each other. they decided to throw a party saturday night. jaime invited people, including these guys who were going to be taking him out friday night.

last night at the gym the guys asked me, "are we still taking jaime out if we're all going out saturday night?" i just stared at them, then started crying, like an idiot. "forget it. it doesn't matter." great response, amber.

i'm not angry about the party saturday, it just feels stupid, crowded and uninteresting. i thought it would be way more fun for him to go out with a few close guy friends. so when those guys responded it made me feel like they were going to be inconvenienced if they had to spend two nights of their weekend celebrating jaime.

so what's my problem? why am i annoyed? well, we're not married, so i can't take him away for the weekend... i don't have enough money to buy him a season ticket to a red sox home game, so i settled for spring training... i don't like some of his friends, so i'm annoyed that those exact people planned a party and basically told us to show up...

there's more, but i'll stop there.

it's incredibly difficult to gives thanks when so many areas of my heart and mind are a mess.

God give me strength to stop feeling like i have to control everything that i want to go right.
forgive me for lashing out at You, blaming and complaining.
forgive me for questioning my worth. help me remember how much You value me.
give me kind words for people who don't do things the way i think they should be done.
give me eyes to see where You are in all of this.... work, relationships, decisions, exercise, money, time management.
give me motivation to put effort into the work You've called me to do.
give my tongue and mind strength to praise You for who You've made me to be, even when everything feels so messy.

31-35

31. yoga in my pj's
32. reading luke 14 for cbr
33. rainbow flipflop
34. credit unions > chase
35. jaime's birthday fiesta night with phil and laura!

continuing on to 1,000

26. flashlight tag with the kiddos
27. funny people
28. dark chocolate coconut candy
29. new necklace from mystery friend
30. reading blogs and words of love from our Lord

no fear in death

A million thoughts run through my mind this morning. I listen to my favorite podcast and find myself in tears as I pull into work. I click off my iPod and tuck it away, reminded of how fragile life is. Saddened by the story I heard because Brian thought death was his only option. He thought he was curing himself of some disease... but really he left behind heartache.

Trudging into LH, my polkadot rain boots flop against my shins. I look around the gloomy acreage and feel tiny drops falling from trees that line the path.

Reflecting on yesterday's sermon and how our life on earth is like flipping a switch ::click:: we never know when it will be lights out. We are just vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

I lift my laptop open and click on Ann's blog ready for my daily dose of warmth.

Her words leap from the page and I tear up, knowing the many reasons we -- believers -- can have no fear in death. I'm reminded of all I have to be grateful for.

I leave you with the final verse of In Christ Alone:
No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Multitude Monday
21. waking early and starting my week fresh
22. those He has put in my path who i can be salt and light to this week
23. a voice to sing praises
24. tears in joy and sadness
25. cool, rainy days when drops fall from trees and tickle my nose

four minutes

bryn said she used to do this with her new disciples when she worked on campus. so each of us here on the writers team have done it this past week.

take out a piece of pen and paper, or open a word document on your computer.

set a timer for 4 minutes and begin writing down all the things you love!

here's what my list looked like after the timer (aka: bryn yelled to stop) went off:

i, amber rose, love…
great danes
rock climbing, especially outdoors
biking trails, on and off road
driving, especially when it’s to a new place
little things, like small containers, miniature objects, etc.,
jaime eduardo alfaro –the way he cares for me, loves me when i’m grouchy and serves me selflessly, shares his stuff with me and cuddles.
technology, gadgets and figuring out how to use them
music, especially concerts and orchestral performances
dancing like crazy
funny people
dark chocolate
thunderstorms, especially at night
playing in the rain
wine
playing flashlight tag with the awesome moore children
wearing new jewelry
fall, specifically the month of november
traveling
trying to relearn and speak spanish
reading blogs
organizing things like drawers, cabinets, closets and book shelves
helping others feel cared for by serving them
skiing in water and snow

STOP! :)

your turn.

multitude monday

16. riding santos trails with bryn and the dirty divas
17. friends who listen, even when i'm rambling
18. a pastor who humbly leads
19. amanda's birthday lunch, a chance to celebrate her
20. a chance to write about God's work around the world, from my cubicle each day

daily thanks

11. rest
12. my vue that gets me around this crazy town
13. money to buy lunch
14. a working, mostly healthy, body
15. falling asleep and waking to rain pounding on the roof and windows

so much

He has given me so much. so much to be thankful for.

6. beautiful painting from cathy's bro that i get to look at while i work
7. cute free owl calendar to help me start the year off right
8. bryn and jess's technological efforts in hooking up recording devices properly
9. laughter and dancing to the "bear necessities" in our cubicles
10. learning how to spell pumpernickel properly

gratefulness

even if it is a day late...

thank you once again, ann voskamp for being my motivation.

i pray your days will be filled with thanks and grateful hearts. HE has given so much, the least i can do is stop and give thanks.

1. cozy blankets on chilly mornings
2. new running shoes
3. eli serving me hot oatmeal after our run... warms my belly and my heart
4. lily singing to max in the hallway as i finish my after-shower routine
5. the boys increasing imagination and playfulness as they plot clone attacks on lego battlefields