money on the brain

While money is still on my brain, it has been neat to watch the Lord provide in various ways over the last two weeks.

Justin and I have only spent about $20 on food in the past 10 days... thanks to babysitting/house-sitting over the weekend, eating everything in our fridge and freezer, using up the canned beans and veggies in our pantry and making tuna lunches ahead of time (not to mention no occasional stops at Dunkin Donuts for that iced latte I gave up a few weeks back due to sugar intake). Our diet hasn't been the most entertaining, but it has been healthy and ample.

Then a few days ago, a dear friend offered to put money in my staff account to help pay for CSU and a plane ticket to THE Katie C's wedding this August. :) Such a huge blessing.

Then, this same friend offered to give me items to sell on Craigslist so I could keep the cash. (what?! crazy, right?)

Then, after texting my landlord this morning that rent was going to be a couple days late (until my husband gets a paycheck), I checked my staff account looking for an address and saw that an annual donor gave without me even asking! AND, get this, they gave almost 2 months early. Strange? I think not. Not when God is involved.

I asked many people to pray and I honestly believe God is choosing to answer those prayers in various ways and at various times. I'm expectant. I'm hopeful. Even a tad excited about the possibility of working on my financial support for a few weeks (something I typically dread).

Please keep praying if you think of it. While our budget is still down $4,000 for June/July, we are hopeful that God will continue to provide in only the way He can.

Davy

My arms were loaded with stuff, keys in hand. I stopped in the doorway, punched in my 4-digit code to arm my security system and stepped out the door. I heard him before I saw his lanky frame, hastily approaching my driveway. "HEEEEY!!" he yelled, almost screamed in a young, yet trying-to-be-manly voice. I smiled, and then quickly threw my things on the car seat to meet him half-way. Hi, Davy! I replied, happily. Where have you been? We haven't seen you for weeks! He smiled that awkward Davy smile and peered down at me with inquisitive and almost sarcastic eyes. "I was in Georgia with my family, for 12 weeks," he slurred a bit, slightly difficult to understand. And then he sighed like an 8-year-old boy as if I was supposed to know that. 

"My house is the one on 18th... 1...3...2...8," he emphasized. Then he leaned over and wrote it in the dust on the back of my car. "There, 1328," he repeated. I laughed and thanked him. So, which side of the street is it on, Davy? "It's..." he hesitated and waved his massive wing span of arms for me to follow him. Together, we walked to the edge of the driveway, his six foot, seven inch frame towering beside my five foot eight inches. Davy's white high-tops, filthy and falling apart, flopped off his feet. He drew up his right arm, looked at me and then peered off in the distance toward Orange Blossom Trail, "See that stop sign?" Yes. "Well, you go past that. Then it's the horseshoe. We live in the horseshoe." He paused and gave me that awkward Davy smile. Alright, Davy, I smiled. Justin and I will stop by and say hi sometime.

We walked back up the driveway to the car and he pulled of his head scarf. "You see right here?" he asked, running his pointer finger along the top of his head. "I got braids." Oo! Lemme see, turn around. So he did and the cornrows looked nice. Who did it? "My mom," he said, proudly. That's really cool, Davy, thanks for showing me. You look real handsome.

I have to go to work now, but I hope you have a good day. I looked down at his plastic grocery bag filled with empty beer cans and a few soda cans. I don't think we have any cans today, Davy... as I walked over to look in our recycle bin. Davy knows Monday is recycle day, so he goes around collecting cans to turn them in at the recycling center up the road. Sorry. Not today. But I hope you find lots before the truck gets here! 

"See ya later," Davy called as he walked off. "You have a newspaper!" he yelled. Thanks! See ya, Davy. I grabbed my phone and texted Justin, "Davy stopped by. Told us he lives at 1328 18th. Wants us to stop by. :)" He replied a few minutes later, "Sweet kid." So true. He is a sweet kid.

Love's Seal

There is coming a greater Love than anything we can imagine. It will defy boundaries and what we have known in the past as it beckons us to a realm of faith from which it longs to operate. It will pierce dark places and it will rock us all to our core. As Love abounds it ushers in a wind that sweeps over sleeping hearts and heals them, it awakens dreams from long ago and calls forth destiny. (Ezekiel 34:16)

The Spirit is helping to prepare a Bride for a King of a Kingdom this world has not yet known. Love is being heralded in a demonstration of power as it destroys shackles that have held too many captive for far too long. This Love that is coming cannot be defined or contained. It is set as a seal upon the hearts of many of this generation as they await the All Consuming Fire. 

I bought this card a few weeks ago -- the image drew me in. Then, the words on the back of the card captured me. I stood very still for an unknown amount of time. Staring. Soaking the words in. Listening. Waiting. Then, praying. 

A greater Love than anything we can imagine -- defying boundaries! Piercing dark places! Rocking all of us to our core.

Lord, sweep over my heart and heal it. Awaken my soul. I need. I want more of You.

Can I make a phone call?

I grabbed an empty glass bottle to take outside to the recycle bin. Walking toward the front door, I saw a tall, thin, young black girl beelining on a diagonal through our front yard, also headed for the front door. 

Normally, I would be alarmed, but for some reason I remained calm, opened the door, dropped my bottle in the bin and turned around as she approached me, out of breath, frantically asking if she could make a phone call. 

I sensed she wanted to come inside, but politely asked what happened to which she rambled off: I was just involved in a high speed chase. My boyfriend was driving. My purse and phone are in the car on the seat. I jumped out and ran. [heavy breathing] The police are looking for me. It's my car. [eyes darting past me out to the road] I don't want to go to jail. Please, can I make a phone call? [nervously looking down the street in each direction]

Um. Woah. Ok. Deep breath. I nodded my head, put my hand on her shoulder and said, "Ok, hold on one second while I go get my phone and my husband." 

I quickly disappeared inside, filled Justin in, asked him what we should do and we both decided to let her make a phone call. "She has rights," I said. We opened the door again, but couldn't see her. We walked  into the driveway and heard, I'm here. She was sitting on the paint cans in the back of our carport. Hiding. Scared. 

Since I was in the driveway, I could see police had already blocked off all streets near the 4-way stop sign. 

I calmly walked back into the carport and the girl approached me. I saw her fragile arms were heavily tattooed, a light brown watch on her right wrist. Long shorts to her knees. Pale green, leather strap wedge platform shoes. Beautifully kept hair, plaited in tiny columns like waterfalls cascading from the center part atop her head. Manicured, shellack nails. White fitted t-shirt with pink and red swirly art on the front. Serious eyes. Focused. I got the feeling she was a tough girl. Not tough enough to take me out, unless she knew Karate, but tough from a life that has shown no mercy, not much (if any) love and little forgiveness. 

I asked why she was hiding and she rambled off how her boyfriend was in a store and he was stealing some things when a lady caught him and he got in a fight with her. The four friends fled the scene and cops had chased them from the east side of town for the past 30 minutes. Her boyfriend was on probation and she said the car was her's. She didn't want him to go to jail and she knew they would throw her in jail too, but she didn't say why (I'm assuming because the car was her's). And for some strange reason, I expected to see tears. Or maybe just water fill her eyes. But no. Not even a glaze. Still the same serious eyes. It made me uncomfortable.

I patiently explained how if she would explain to the police what she just told me, the situation might not be so awful. I told her she needed to protect herself and realize that her boyfriend would most likely be in trouble but doubted she would be going to jail unless she had also broken the law. However, if she continued to evade the police it would make her appear guilty and she could be charged with an accessory to a crime, obstructing government operations, etc.,. 

She fumbled over some more explanations, never took the phone from me when I offered it and decided that it was best for her to walk home. She pointed off in the distance, saying she lived a couple streets away. Then she took off on foot in the opposite direction. 

At this point, I told Justin to go grab my sandals. He did and together we walked over to the police at the corner. We could see the light blue Ford Taurus, surrounded by police. K-9 units were searching within a block of the car. All our neighbors were outside peering, whispering, walking over to each other's homes.

We asked the cop what was going on and he said exactly what the girl had just told us, revealing they were looking for "three females and one male." So, we relayed all the information we had just learned. We felt like tattle-tales, but at the same time knew it was the right thing to do.

He thanked us and we stopped to talk with a few neighbors.

Not even a minute later, a cop car sped down the street at about 60mph in the direction the girl had gone. Over and hour later I walked back out, found the cop we had talked to and learned they did find the girl and one other. He thanked me again, saying they had no idea who they were looking for and how frustrating it had been. He pulled his head out of the trunk of the blue car and wrote some notes on a clipboard. Then he stopped, looked at me and asked, Why do you live here? You know this isn't the best part of town? I told him about NewCity's church plant initiative, our intentional community and that we really like our neighborhood. Yes, our neighborhood and we're sick of crap like this happening. I explained the robberies that occurred in January and he sympathized, agreeing that the justice system is broken. 

Since that evening, I've gone back to being jumpy in the house like I was after the robbery. Especially at night. I keep thinking the girl is going to tell her friends that we ratted her out. Or that the gang she is running with is the one that robbed our home. Or that they'll throw a brick through our window.

We heard gun shots Friday night- a stream of *pop *pop *pop [silence] *pop *pop *pop. Closer than usual. It's been about two months since we heard gun shots.

Then I set the alarm off Saturday morning, scaring the crap out of myself, my husband and best friend, Keri who was in town for a short visit. 

I know I have nothing to fear and that God is protecting us, but I'm still human.

We're going shopping for a baseball bat or sword [home protection device] when we return from our spring break trip.

am i lazy?

or just unqualified?

no, seriously. i really think i'm unqualified. because while i can be lazy about some things, i feel basic life-stuff is fairly simple to keep up with.

for example (and the prime motivation for this post): gardening.

because my mother is a master gardener, should i know how to keep a plant alive?

because google tells me how to repot my plumeria or how often to water my tomatoes, should i be able to keep a plant alive?

i've decided the answer is no.

there are too many factors.

here's a great example of my feeble efforts smashed to bits...

i buy tomato plants and a pepper plant. i plant them.

justin and i take turns watering said plants. and our herbs, rosemary and mint. maybe even a few splashes on the plumeria, dying pineapple and hibernating papaya.

a few days pass.

"oooo! ah ha! ha ha ha! look!!" i yell to my husband one morning as i stick my nose to the glass on our back door. "there's red on our tomato plants! i think we have a fruit!" to which we wander out and find a small, sad-looking tomato.

we continue watering, weeding, even fertilizing. and watching. lots of watching.

about a week goes by and behold! there are TWO little red shiny balls hanging from one of the plants. the other plant has a small, rotting, green ball, limply hanging onto a thread of life. i hastily pick it, disappointed, and throw it toward the almost-compost pile.

then we go some days without watering. i go out and notice we have a pepper! yay! i pick it and we eat it in our stir fry. we've basically lost one of the tomato plants by now. it's wilted and down to a thin, brown, cracking stalk. the other plant is still chugging away, promising some more tomatoes.

fast forward two months and six tomatoes or so (from the one, living plant). i'm wedding the garden in my dress after church. it's hot. just as i'm about to step into the garden box, i freeze. there is a rubbery, bright green leafy plant chilling beside my tomato plant. never seen this before. i know it's not a weed. it's clearly lettuce. clearly. everyone knows what lettuce looks like.

so... i'm excited. and notice there are a few other spots growing, in and outside the garden box. we didn't plan them but guess the landlord did -- after all, he was way more dedicated to his garden than we are.

and so, i guess what i'm trying to say is: i don't like gardening but i like the results.

my little tomato, pepper, herb plants have given me inspiration, but the reality is, if i can't make a salad at least three nights a week from my own garden, i don't want a garden. which brings me to my next reality...

i have to keep trying. and it's time to get serious about this gardening thing. more rows, more starter plants, clean compost pile and diligent fertilizing, watering, weeding and watching.

surely this is achievable. even by my brown thumb.

i'll update you in a few months. :P

recycle

I wanted this to be a really creative and fun entry with analogies, good rhythm and beautifully crafted sentences.

Oh’well.

Recycling is one of those words I always add to a list of “interests” or “likes” when I’m setting up a profile like Facebook, Twitter, Google, etc., I always include it. Because it’s true. I love to recycle. I love the idea of it and the action of it.

It also makes me feel good. Like, I’m contributing to the environment, world, mankind, fellow humans, neighbors, pollution control, etc., etc., etc.,

This morning I came home and found the distinct red and green bins of my neighbors turned over. Justin and I are actually the only ones on our street who recycle… so… by neighbors, I mean the people down the other street.

I was bummed because our bins are full but I didn’t have time to put them out before leaving this morning to take Justin to work.

But as I drove by my neighbors empty bins, I was sure I had missed the recycle truck.

After parking my car, I moped to the door. As I stuck the key in the door I heard the familiar engine drone and squeal of big-truck brakes. I ran to the end of my driveway and saw the giant brown, city recycle truck stopped at the corner. I took off running back into the carport and grabbed the green bin. Scurrying back out to the curb, I set it down, stopped, looked right at the truck and then, as if on cue, he turned down my street! I was elated. I ran full-speed back into the carport for the red bin, returning to the curb just as the brakes squealed for a second time and a friendly driver jumped out to take the bins from me. I was stoked.

Thank you, Mr. Recycle man for making my day.

a second honeymoon... of sorts

Justin was thrilled upon arriving at the gate to Hostel in the Forest.

He had no idea what the place was, but was beginning to realize how stinking cool our weekend was going to be.

The road leading us through the forest was bumpy and narrow. We were on an adventure for sure! We felt like two kids exploring the woods for the first time. I had never been to this place, so it was a new experience for me as well.

After parking and walking down the dirt path to check in, we kept catching glimpses of wooden structures up in the trees... tree houses! Justin was like, "Woah! Are we going to stay in one of those?!" Yup. I replied, grinning. It was fun to see him so excited.

We walked up the path to arrive at the main building, to which we were greeted by a few volunteers and these lovely hearts made from leaves on the path...

(yes, that's Justin playing guitar on the porch)

Before we knew it, we were walking down slender boardwalk into the woods...

...and up a narrow flight of stairs to our honeymoon suite treehouse!

It was quite an experience. From there, we took a quick trip around the lake in a canoe...

Took a peek inside one of the two outdoor showers -- this one was called the "goddess bath." :D

Ate dinner with some new, interesting friends from all walks of life...

And continued enjoying leftovers from the community garden the next day with our new friend, Emily.

Justin was able to relax, play guitar and we worshipped for a bit on the porch one afternoon while a cold front was moving in.

We decided to leave early because of the cold (I was getting sick and it was going to be below 30 degrees that night) and go to St. Augustine. So we ended our fun surprise-for-Justin weekend with a historic stay in the countries oldest fort city.

We saw cannons fire at the Castillo San Marcos...

Made sure we were a good example for the younger guests...

Found some crazy head-ware...

Got diplomas from the oldest wooden school in America...

And enjoyed a free meal at Harry's New Orleans Style Seafood Restaurant because the hostess was so rude, the manager was kind and insisted allowing her to let the house take care of us.

We ended the weekend by driving down A1A (beachfront avenue!) along the Atlantic Ocean the next day. We stopped at Fort Matanzas, built in 1740 by the Spanish to protect St. Augustine from the French. Fun times. My history-teacher-buff-husband was enjoying the heck out of all the history.

We even stopped for a quick toes-in-the-sand opportunity and chance for me to try out my mad hand and headstand skills I've been working on in yoga...

It was a great weekend. Even though I coughed non-stop through all of it. I was determined not to ruin the weekend for Justin and he told me he was impressed with what a good mood I was in, despite my terrible cold. I take no credit. It was the Lord. And we were actually able to get good rest each night.

Justin said it was one of his most favorite weekends since we've been married. I was thankful for a fun weekend away with the hubs.

my list

inspired by bryn and emilie's previous posts to write a like or love list... i'm not timing myself and i don't care about word count, but here it goes:

i love my husband and the way he knows me so well.

i love unusually soft and cuddle-worthy blankets of all sizes.

i like to be on the floor, whether sitting, laying or working... often rather than on furniture.

i love great danes and other exceptionally precious animals that have unique, entertaining and inviting personalities. 

i love driving stick.

i love going to beautiful, relaxing places for absolutely no reason at all except to rest.

i love hawaii and most things involved in island living.

i love a good cup of coffee, about once a week.

i love pinot noir, cabernet sauvignon, merlot, malbec and tempranillo, especially if they are from chile, oregon or napa valley.

i love nibbling dark chocolate with any of the afforementioned alcoholic options.

i like helping people learn, especially about wine, budgeting, outdoor gear, great danes, rock climbing and yoga.

i love reading children's books at barnes and noble while getting an oil change at goodyear.

i like multi-tasking.

i love florida sunsets.

i love sweating for 80 minutes of hot yoga in a 90-degree room with 40 other calm, focused, hard-working individuals.

i love cold weather.

i like visiting new places.

i like to organize and find new ways to arrange and expand space in all sorts of areas.

i love playing piano and realizing two hours have gone by, uninterrupted.

i like researching, planning and orchestrating events that excite or interest me.

i love to learn.

i love to play.

i like to have parameters or clear expectations when working on a project assigned by and benefiting someone else.

i love mountains in all seasons, but especially fall.

i like getting snail mail notes from friends far away.

i love the smell of pine, forest, christmas, wood-burning and anything else that reminds me of cozy, clean, winter or home.

really?!

i don't want to write today.

i'm sad. i'm angry. i'm hungry. i'm broke. i'm frustrated. i'm sad.

i'm behind on work. i don't feel well. i haven't worked out in weeks.

i want a dog but i don't want a dog. 

i want a gun but i don't want a gun.

i'm mad at the police but i'm thankful for the police.

i want to run my car into the punk kids who robbed our home. i know who they are. i see them. i thought i even saw my bike last night while i was driving. it boils my blood when i think about it. so i try not to think about it.

i don't like looking at my empty dresser. i miss my necklaces. i miss my perfumes (both gifts from my brothers).

i hate 80 degree january. really? it's JANUARY. WINTER. whhhhhhyyyyyy am i sweating? i have my a/c on. for the love.

and somewhere, in all of this and more, the past week has not only been a fog, but a constant reminder that this life is not my own. i've had to, with my husband, cry on friends' shoulders (and his shoulder) and make a daily decision to trust God. no matter what. and trust that He is good. and that He loves me. 

and that He loves those kids who broke into our house.

and i forgive them. i really do. because i know that what's inside them, motivating and deceiving them is the unseen evil force from a dark place and a dark being who wants us all dead. and i will fight. i will not move. i'm not afraid.

but it doesn't make it any less difficult.