you just never know

today sucked

save for a few laughs and a moment to pose with cyclops at islands of adventure, the 14 hours i spent awake felt like a waste.

perhaps i shouldn't blog when i'm upset, angry, frustrated, confused, pessimistic... whatever. ::insert random emotion here:: but i can't sleep. i'm a writer. i often process in written or typed form.

two pieces of pizza around 8pm gave me acid indigestion. awesome.

my mother called today to tell me grandma died. my aunt was helping her into the bathtub this morning and grandma's breathing slowed, then stopped. that was it. she was gone.

last weekend during a whirlwind, unrestful trip to north carolina, my parents unexpectedly decided to drive to pennsylvania to see grandma who had been hospitalized for a few days. we were supposed to have a family birthday celebration, complete with grilled burgers, baked beans, corn on the cob and ice cream cake. no dice. i was bummed but understood the importance of their last-minute trip.

little did we know she would leave us only one week later.

i now have no living grandparents.

munching on my carmel candy apple on the way out of islands of adventure, i never expected to hear such grim news.

my dad lost his mother today.

that breaks my heart.

and to think i was upset to not have a birthday celebration with my family.

another reason today sucked: la nouba didn't happen.

i was under the impression we had tickets to the show. i've been telling co-workers and friends about it all week -- the anticipation building to what felt like a kid on christmas morning. birthday present and end to a week of fun. celebration of my 28th year of life.

i woke up excited. i woke up hopeful. elated.

within minutes of hearing the disappointing news (no la nouba) a cloud of grumpiness and general dissatisfaction grew over my head that lingered all day.

it's not about me. it's not about my happiness. it's not about what i want or think i need. but today was hard. today was really hard. i want it to go away or start over.

i guess what people always say is true: shit happens.

you just never know.