intense

Facebook is so crazy. Tonight I was on my friend, Nicole's page and found a link to her friends' page who lost their baby boy recently to a disease called hydrocephalus. Then I found this web site called Now I lay Me Down to Sleep and just completely lost it sitting here reading what they do. You should check it out.

Why did I lose it? Well, about twenty-four years ago a little baby boy was born. I was two years old and don't remember anything but wearing a dress and being with my grandma at the hospital. Memory is a funny thing. What causes us to forget things that we wish years later we could recall? I'll give myself a break since I was only two. 

His name was Justin. The doctors said he was born with a heart condition and could not be operated on because his heart was too weak for the surgery. He lived for 48 hours and then passed away in my mother's arms. 

Then about seven years ago I witnessed a family go through a terrible year of loss. I used to babysit for this family and their 5 year old daughter and 9 month old son passed away within four months of each other. Talk about tragedy.

I guess that's why I lost it. I wish my parents would have had even just one picture with Justin. The hospital lost his picture and his bracelet. All we have is a lock of hair. But pictures. Wow. I mean, talk about something to be cherished. What an incredibly powerful way to remember. 

I am in awe that there is an organization of 5,000 volunteers doing something like this for families. What a way to serve and help begin a grieving process that may last a lifetime. I know my mother's has.

Crying is therapeutic. Many times it will hit me out of nowhere and I'll find myself weeping and wondering why. So tonight, I wanted to write about it.